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Olivia Wix on parenting during lockdown, and what she learned.

The one thing I craved most for 2020 was a sense of calm.

Over the last four years, I went from being pregnant and married to a single mum with a five-month-old baby. I sold and bought a house, moved to the other end of the country, had some custody disagreements, got divorced, my ailing grandfather moved, I changed jobs, and I've been attempting to renovate on a shoestring.

I was tired, and I desperately wanted life to calm down.

You know what happened 10 weeks later though, eh? The C-word hit. My job in local government propelled me straight into our emergency operations role to help with our city's response.

A calm year it was not.

But, they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I feel like I'm now a walking-talking role model for that phrase.

Now, I'm heading into 2021 without any expectations or resolutions, but just a couple of thoughts to keep in mind.

  1. Thank my village, often.

My parents look after my son a lot while I'm at work and six weeks without them was hard. There were a couple of instances when work was flat-out and my son desperately wanted my attention and I wished I could have called my mum over for even five minutes.

I’ve always been extremely thankful that my folks play such a big role in our lives but I’ve taken that for granted.

I want to try harder to remember to say thank you- to them, and our small army of friends who go out of their way to make sure we’re ok.

  1. Community is everything

One of the reasons I’ve always loved my job is working for our community. Giving back in a time of need proved that ten-fold.

I'm keen to see how I can instil this trait in my son too and am always on the lookout for opportunities. This Christmas it’s a wee hamper for the food bank and gifting a pressie to another child in need.

  1. Time is precious

Yes, lockdown was hard, but I look back at that time with such happy memories. We threw a birthday party for our dog, built a massive train track on the deck, chalked the driveway,made art for our windows, painted stones, baked, watched movies and went on big walks every day.

Now, our weekends always feel so busy by the time they begin. Occasionally I want to go back to basics and simply enjoy each other's company.

  1. Work can wait. . . a few minutes.

I’ve had a nagging feeling at the back of my mind all year. It’s the realisation that my son is growing up fast, and I feel like I'm missing out on so much precious time with him.

A previous boss told me to always remember that when I'm on my deathbed, I'll never think about work, but I will always think about my time with him.

I love my job and I care way too much about it, but I’ve been trying to get better at balance. I try not to answer emails in front of him, I leave my phone in my bag when I get home, and I don't open my laptop until I hear his snores.

It's funny looking back on this time last year when I thought I was tired. Oh, to have that energy again. I think it’s safe to say knackered or exhausted are more fitting descriptions now after this year. So, 2021, if you’re listening, I wouldn’t mind that year of calm now. . . . Please?